I had this girl in my class and she was considered to be like really dumb. She’d ask a ton of doubts and questions in class, which everybody would consider to be “stupid"and “silly” and even the teachers would often taunt her but she’d never stop asking. But the thing was that she’d almost always top the class examinations and everyone was like???? They all thought she was cheating and stuff and obviously even the teachers were very biased because she wasn’t so ‘smart’ in class, and she was regularly accused of cheating. But nobody could prove that she was actually cheating but the whole class and teachers totally believed that she did. I’m pretty socially awkward so I never really talked to her, but she was leaving school this year and I was genuinely curious about how she was so good during exams and how she didn’t let everyone’s remarks affect her. She always used to sit and hang out with only one girl, and she told me that that friend of hers was severely socially anxious and she’d lag in studies because she couldn’t bring herself to ask doubts in class or ask for help from others. So they had this system where during lectures her friend would write down any question she had, and she would ask them for her. And I was just so touched??? Idk but it really changed the way I looked at people?? This girl endured taunts and jeers and borderline bullying for being “stupid” when she was actually really smart and could easily have refused to ask such doubts for her friend but she did?? And brushed off everything others would throw at her for her friend?? I was just, idk it just really changed me in some way.
This is also a commentary on ableism and how hurtful it is. One girl was so afraid of being seen as “stupid” that it stopped her from learning. And, judging by how her friend was treated for asking those questions, she was right to be afraid.
Ya know, teachers always said “don’t be afraid to ask questions.”
But do you know what happened when you asked questions, at least at my school(s)? They would say “I just taught this, weren’t you paying attention?” So of course that made many of the students feel like idiots because they asked for help, like they should have understood right away.
This girl did something so many of us were afraid to do, and it wasn’t even for herself.
If a teacher responds with “I just taught this, weren’t you paying attention” then they are not a good teacher
Good teachers will explain it and will in fact try an alternative or reformulate what they just taught. also some concepts are hard to grasp the first time so re-explaining the concept is something teachers should expect especially if the topic is dense and each step is crucial. this is my experience with good teachers who ask if there are any quesions
but yes, negative responses like what was mentioned is what discourages people from asking questions in class. if you’re ever anxious though of these scenarios, a good tip is to see what your teacher is like. if they are the type to welcome questions, dont be shy to ask it because chances are someone in the room might have the same question and they would be pleased to explain it
and if you are really anxious then go to office hours and ask your prof privately. in fact, profs love that because you are willing to learn which they appreciate. and they also get to know you! and yeah because if you dont get a concept now, chances are you won’t get what will come next since mastering an early concept is essential to understanding later concepts
also if you feel like you are severely socially anxious and cant ask help, then you have to try and talk to the counsellor in your school and they might be able to assign a scribe for you. in colleges and universities, there are access aides for such students. so if you have a question, you can ask the scribe and they can explain it to you or write the notes in a clearer format.
i must say though that i find it unbelivable that many of the teachers in that school OP is going to/went to assumed this student was cheating. instead of talking to the student and they might have been able to properly investigate as educators the cause and if they find out it’s for another student, they could have provided special help for this student.
a really big part of making kids feel comfortable asking questions is defending them openly when other students make those kind of comments too (“thats a stupid question”, “how do you not know that”, etc) especially in older grades when they’ve picked up the habit from previous, bad teachers.
Easy fix: “They don’t know the answer. You come to school to learn, it doesn’t matter where you start because you’re all here to learn something new. Its okay if different people learn different things, as long as they get the help they need.”
Honestly just saying something to that extent the first time it comes up in a class has always been enough for kids to feel comfortable enough to ask me to explain something all the time. Like I’ll have kids interrupt me when they’re in trouble and I’m getting onto them and use a word they don’t know what means to ask what it means.
They’re getting lectured???? and they still feel more comfortable asking me what a big word means more than another teacher in a “”learning“” setting??? bullshit, that teacher has not established a safe learning environment
it’s never too late!!!!!!! to text them back. to drink enough water today. to get into a skincare routine. to learn the piano or how to paint!! to learn winged eyeliner. to tell them how u feel. to start getting fitter. to get changed or brush your teeth or shower today. to read that book or watch that show everyone was talking about years ago. to turn an acquaintance into a friend. if u don’t start somewhere u won’t go anywhere at all.
Even if it’s not a full 8-hour cycle, please sleep.
Obviously this post won’t fit everyone, and I hope the best for those who can’t get a ton of sleep! This post wasn’t created to be malicious! I just wanted to make sure everyone realizes how important sleep is! I do, however, appreciate every comment this post has received. It’s important for us not to pass judgment when things like insomnia and being a single parent and working multiple jobs exist. Not everyone HAS 8 hours available for sleep!
Always remember that it’s about the QUALITY of sleep, not the quantity!
Sleep well, everyone! (:
I created this post when I was a junior in high school and saw all my classmates bragging about losing sleep over studying. I’m now a junior in college who has trouble with insomnia. I value sleep so much now, and I hope that this reminds people that your health is always more important than your studies.
you need to give yourself permission to be happy now. not when you lost weight, not when you found your soulmate, not when you have more money. we seek excitement from future events, but once those goals are met, the temporary pleasures will pass and they will be replaced by the next fantasy. devote your full attention to your inner self and appreciate being in the moment. happiness is never external, but a way of living and appreciating life. it’s not reality, just the way you perceive it. so go and shift your focus from the outcome to watching yourself grow.
it’s never too late!!!!!!! to text them back. to drink enough water today. to get into a skincare routine. to learn the piano or how to paint!! to learn winged eyeliner. to tell them how u feel. to start getting fitter. to get changed or brush your teeth or shower today. to read that book or watch that show everyone was talking about years ago. to turn an acquaintance into a friend. if u don’t start somewhere u won’t go anywhere at all.
please make sure that wherever you’re at in life, you don’t treat it like a transitory period. don’t waste your college years wishing to already be graduated & have a job. don’t waste your single years wishing for someone to be in love with. if/when those things come, they will come in due time and they will be good. but there is nothing like looking back and feeling empty because you wasted literal years ignoring what you had because you were hoping for something better. while it’s important to better yourself and reach for your goals, don’t neglect the present because that’s where you are now and it’s your now that determines your future.
Imagine this period of struggle paying off. Imagine being granted way more than you originally bargained for. Stay the course my love. It’s coming. You’re almost there.
